For a long while now I have had some issues with depression. The last time it got really bad, I got my dog, Missy. She helped and does help a lot. She gets me out of my head, she makes me focus on something else. These last few months it got bad again and I had some other health issues. I thought the health issues were causing my tiredness, my lack of get up and go. I had some lumps appear on my glands and neck. I knew they weren’t cancerous because they appeared way too fast for that. Had some tests done which of course took ages, they found another lump full of fluid on my thyroid gland. Turns out they are fine, nothing to worry about. My thyroid levels were normal, so it wasn’t that causing this tiredness.
So I knew what it was after all the tests. My depression. With me it not about self-harm or suicide. It’s wanting to sleep all the time, but when I do sleep it interrupted all the time and hard for me to switch off. It’s just a complete and utter lack of emotions. I compartmentalize really easily, always have but with my depression it different. There is nothing there. I smile and laugh automatically because I know that is the correct response. I am not smiling because I am happy or I find it funny. It’s just a reaction. A built-in response.
I had enough of it. I knew I should be feeling something. But I wasn’t. So I finally went to the doctors and I am now on anti-depressants. I am at the stage where it waits for the drugs to kick in, see if I need a bigger dosage or a different tablet. Been on about a little over three weeks now, I have my good days and I have my bad days.
Also, I am weird with food, always have been. I have IBS = irritable bowel syndrome. I’ve had it since I was 11 but only got it labeled when I was 17. I don’t eat because I am hungry, I eat because I know I should eat. I can’t force myself to eat something random either, I have to eat something that I fancy or that has been stuck in my head all day. I never feel full either. I just have learned when to stop because I know it will affect my IBS. With my depression, it is more I can’t be bothered to go cook something. So lucky enough with these new drugs I am on, I am actually hungry for a change. But there is still the element of I can’t be fucked to go cook something lol.
So yeah this isn’t a pity me kind of post, it just an explanation of why my posts have nonexisting. I will be trying to fix that, just bear with me, please.
I still don’t like cheese.
LFBooks 
Hello Laura, wishing you a quick and happy recovery!
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Thanks
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You’re in my thoughts. We actually got our husky as a depression dog for one of our kids, and she works wonders too. Pets are wonderful like that.
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Yes they are.
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I’ll just take off the cheese before I send you the burger again.
Wishing you only the best and I really hope the meds kick in soon. Will be here.
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Thanks, I know the cheese wouldn’t go to waste lol
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😉
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Sending you all the warm hugs instead of cheese of course!🤗🤗🤗💛
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Lol thanks
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Take care of yourself 💞
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Will do.
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You’re not alone.
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Thank you.
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❤
I'm sorry you are going through this & and hope you are getting better soon.
I went through something similar with the food thing recently, and the first thing i noticed when i started getting better was that i actually felt willing to cook and started enjoying my food. (Before that, everything tasted horrible – well, to me anyway).
*hugs *
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Yeah exactly.
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Astounding honesty. Best thoughts for you. One day at a time.
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Thank you.
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Well bugger that. Bring on the tabs, for a while at least. I hope you’re better in time for Dawn of a Legend!
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Lady don’t you worry.
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You are not alone Laura. I hope the meds kick in soon. I know it took a couple of med changes for me to get feeling better, so I hope it happens for you sooner rather than later. Hang in there hun. I will be here when you get back to blogging. Hugs to you. 🤗🤗
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Yeah me too. Thank you.
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I was just blogging on my own issues with depression. It’s terrible and I feel terrible that you have to deal with it too. I hope that things are getting better. Take care of yourself. Don’t feel bad that you haven’t been keeping things up to date here. We’ll all be here when you feel that you are ready to get back to it!
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Thanks, will have to check out your posts.
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Never apologise for taking time for your self. ❤ Going on to antidepressants for me was absolutely life changing, but it wasn't an easy decision and the transition on to them was genuinely the worst thing I'd been through – I was so ill (I've recently changed some of my other medication and going through it again and urgh). I hope they get you to a better place. Just take time for yourself and let the dog take care of you. Big hugs x
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I wish she would cook for me, doing all the work lol
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Good luck! I slept all night and day when I was 15. I understand the lack of energy. I missed an entire year of my life.
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Same going on here. Best of luck kicking Depression’s butt.
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I was going to ask for a review, but instead I’ll share health stuff:)
The brain is part of the body, so the brain chemistry is part of a larger system. Not something phrama phreaks like to talk about. Or think about.
So when a person is going through total adrenal exhaustion they’re all like: “your brain’s chemistry is bla-bla”
When someone is cornered by a misfiring brain thing and by a misfiring guts thing, and random super-fast lumps coming and going, I’d suggest a “nothing to lose” fortnight (or rather three week thing) of following a specific regimen. It’s not convenient, but being depressed and unable to digest and have mystery lumps is way more inconvenient in the long run.
The nervous system and the endocrine system and the immune system are supposed to regulate all this. When they stop doing that, they can be reset. Tricky to juggle, but it can be done.
**
Screwed up immune system is dealt with through an anti-inflammation diet, and/or a low-histamine diet.
Screwed up digestion is dealt with through bone broth and fermented stuff like kimchi and yoghurt (GAPS diet).
Screwed up endocrine and nervous system is dealt with through a “fix the adrenal glands” regimen, and “fix the circadian rhythm” regimen. It amounts to fixing adrenal exhaustion.
**
The three approaches, are, at first glance, mutually exclusive, but that’s not necessarily the case. It can be done in three steps, about a week for each, depending on the results.
STEP 1: cleaning out the internal filters and fixing chronic inflammation what with the rashes and the lumps. This means a strict anti-inflammation/low histamine diet. It sucks, but results are lightning fast. A week on apples and carrots should be enough to calm down the organism and stop it from attacking itself so relentlessly.
STEP 2: fixing the guts—once inflammation is down—time for a few days of bone broth and fermented cabbage and yoghurt to build up the gut bacteria. Still no junk food or sugar. When fixing yourself junk food and sugar and booze and stimulants are the devil.
STEP 3: fixing the adrenal glands. The body is no longer attacking itself, and the guts are digesting properly. Time to fix the energy levels and the endocrine system.
The adrenal glands are the “reserve battery” which provides a temporary super-boost needed to fight off a tiger or pick up a car under which is one’s kid. During the remaining 99% of the time the adrenal glands are designed to be dormant in this sense, and are working their “day job” which is regulating your body’s internal chemistry. If, however, the adrenal glands are stimulated all the time (not only cocaine and amphetamines, but also booze, smoking, caffeine, weed, sugar, drama, horror, intense music), then after a while they start going offline.
When that happens, they a) become like the crapped out battery of a laptop or phone, which never charges completely and only works for like half an hour, and b) they stop being able to regulate the endocrine system. At that point they need to be left alone to recharge and rebuild.
Once the adrenal glands are recharged—stress goes down automatically. What used to feel like a shark bite becomes a mosquito bite. Quite the difference. Actually makes like fun again.
This means cutting out all stimulants and instead eating salty, high protein, fatty stuff. Proper fatty stuff, not junk food. Junk food is the devil concerning all three steps. No junk food during the three steps. No junk, no sugar, no stimulants. This is a short-term investment in order to fix the long-term situation.
**
And that’s it. All that’s left is to force yourself to adhere to the mammalian circadian cycle. No intense stuff to read or watch or listen to after 20.00, gradually dimming the lights starting around 21.00, no blue screen before sleep.
Before a month is out, balance should be achieved.
And from then on—just remember what’s what.
If autoimmune b.s. flares up—this means it’s time for a week of anti-inflammation/low histamine dieting.
If the guts stop digesting well—time for the GAPS broth and fermentation thing.
If the energy levels plummet and stress levels soar—time to fix the adrenal glands and circadian cycle.
Once you catch the logic of practical self-management and self-regulation, what was super complicated and mysterious and hopeless, becomes simple, logical, and doable.
Just three simple (not counting the cravings, ha!) ways to fix the three issues one by one, which, when combined, make like hell, and which, if one listens to “official medicine”, can make one a lifelong slave to a suitcase of meds and constant clinic visits with results that mean everything and nothing.
Good luck!
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Thanks
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